Tsunami Tragedy in Asia

I feel bad for not posting about this sooner. This tragedy has been very much on my mind even though I've been dealing with other things in my life. I just don't know what to say about such a tremendous loss of life. The death toll keeps climbing, and it could exceed 100,000. It's overwhelming and sad.

I have heard of bickering and accusations about who is giving the most aid and who is being "stingy". I wish it would stop. Just help the survivors and leave the pettiness aside. Personally, I gave to Mercy Corps, but there many options for those who want to help in some way. There is also the SEA-EAT blog, which is a clearinghouse for information about this tragedy.

Heartbroken

This morning, I lost my dog.

She was almost thirteen years old. She was a Chow/Golden Retriever Mix. For the past month, she has been going downhill very quickly. At first, she just had trouble walking. Then she got to where she couldn't stand very steadily or for very long, and it was very hard for her to do things like relieve herself. My mother and I would use a towel as a sling to help her walk using her front legs. She weighed over 70 lbs., so I was difficult for us to move her, but we did the best we could.

I had ordered a wheel cart for her, thinking that if I could just get one of those, she could go out and relieve herself more easily. However, her condition kept getting worse and worse. First, she was unable to control her left rear leg. Then she got to where she could no longer move her tail. Then she started losing control of the right leg as well, and then finally she started losing control of her bodily functions. I was giving her medication for arthritis, but she would sometimes moan with pain.

I took her to the vet this morning. They took x-rays and the arthritis was in the vertebrae of her spine. Paralysis was overtaking her. There were only a few options.

They could give her an anti-inflammatory shot that might help her for a few hours. But they can only give a limited amount of those shots, because too many would cause other problems. They could get a neurosurgeon to operate on her spine, but it would take months for her to recuperate from such a surgery, especially at her advanced age. And it probably would not have helped her very much.

The final option was a decision I prayed I would never have to make. But it was the only decision I could make. It was the hardest thing I ever had to do.

I stayed with her. She went peacefully, but I broke down when I realized she was really gone.

She was my Dad's dog. When he died, she became my dog. I had named her Coco as a puppy, but my Dad called her Punkin. I like to think she is now reunited with my Dad. I have to believe that.

The house feels empty without her presence. My Mom and I are grieving. I will miss Coco the rest of my life. She was a sweet, wonderful dog.

Here is a photo of her when she was still a puppy:

This picture was taken in May after bringing her home from the groomers (that's why she has that bandana on):

Here's a picture I took while she was sleeping back in July:

Rest in peace, Coco aka Punkin (1992-2004).

Merry Christmas to All!

I just want to wish everyone a very Merry Christmas. I know this blog has been kind of a downer lately and I'm sorry about that. I'm feeling better this evening...I went to the Christmas Eve candlelight service at my church and it was lovely. BTW, we didn't get any snow here...it just sleeted a little bit earlier in the day.

Yes, it's been a hard day, but then there is always hope:

Now there were in the same country shepherds living out in the fields, keeping watch over their flock by night. And behold, an angel of the Lord stood before them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were greatly afraid. Then the angel said to them, "Do not be afraid, for behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy which will be to all people. For there is born to you this day in the city of David a Savior, who is Christ the Lord. And this will be the sign to you: You will find a Babe wrapped in swaddling cloths, lying in a manger."

And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host praising God and saying:
"Glory to God in the highest,
And on earth peace, goodwill toward men!"

Luke 2:8-14 (NKJV)

Enough

Some people feel that because they have been mistreated by others, they are entitled to mistreat you, and that you are just supposed to just take it. Because if you don't just meekly take it without complaint, if you are the least bit upset with them for the way they treat you, then you have no "compassion" for their plight.

However, if you offer compassion or help for their predicament, they only return a sneer, an ugly word or an upraised middle finger.

And, of course, they rarely ever apologize for the way they treat you. Because, you see, they're entitled because they work really hard and they have a lot of problems. And when they do apologize, it's usually wrapped up with plenty of self-pity in an attempt to make you feel guilty.

So, finally, you get tired of being abused and stand up for yourself. You have had enough.

You know that this person will forever hold it against you. They will call you a hypocrite. They will see it as "proof" that you don't really love them and care about them.

But you are glad you stood up to them. It doesn't mean you don't love them and you don't care. It just means you've had enough.

Finding Joy at Christmas

This Christmas season has been kind of rough. It's always kind of rough, but I always try to remember what Christmas is all about and also enjoy the festive trappings of the season.

You see, my Mom has pretty much given up on Christmas since the deaths of my Dad and my brother. My sister just sees it as pressure to buy people gifts. I don't care about getting gifts that much. Most things I really want I can buy for myself. I like to give gifts, though. I usually try to grab an angel off the Angel Tree at my church each year. And I like to give gifts to my family and friends.

Even with my Dad and brother gone, I refuse to give up on Christmas. I always to put a tree up (with colored lights), put a wreath on the door and put plastic candy canes in the yard. I usually try to make it to my church's Advent services, but wasn't able to this year. I will definitely go to the Christmas Eve service -- I never miss that.

I have been very sad and depressed lately. I've also been fatigued and stricken with insomnia. I'm worried about my poor dog...she has arthritis and can hardly walk anymore. I read about young lives cut short in accidents and in war zones and a get even sadder. I read about the unspeakable evil done to people and I despair.

Yes, I know Christmas celebrates Christ coming into this world. I know this is cause for great joy, but sometimes I have trouble feeling that joy. I look at the world around me and I wonder where God is.

But I try and find that joy somehow, even if I'm unsuccessful. I know that some self-admitted Grinches (both Christian and non/anti-Christian) take a rather severe view of this season and look down on the "tacky" Christmas lights and holly berries and wreaths and trees and ribbons and gifts. They cringe at Christmas music, whether it be "Rudolph" or "Silent Night". They probably think It's a Wonderful Life or A Christmas Story are corny and played out. They look down on those of us who enjoy all those things.

As someone who has been struggling with depression this Christmas season, I think those people should lighten up and stop being so judgmental. I'm not ashamed to admit that I like Christmas lights and Christmas trees and all those other things. I like the fun and the festive mood, even if I'm not feeling festive inside.

I also always remember the whole reason behind Christmas. I still tear up at the Christmas Eve service when I think of Christ coming into this world as a helpless little baby.

So, I'm going to continue to struggle to find some joy this Christmas. I will enjoy looking at the houses decked out in colored Christmas lights. I'll enjoy the Christmas songs -- both sacred and silly. And if we actually get snow here in the Florida Panhandle for Christmas (as they are forecasting), it will be my first "white Christmas" -- that will be pretty cool.

Most importantly, I'll remember that "the Word became flesh and dwelt among us". And that God is still here and gives us hope and joy, even in this fallen, troubled world.

Tragic and Sad

This accident happened very close to where I live. I was at work when it happened, so I didn't hear about until I saw it in the paper the next morning.

This is so sad. My heart goes out to the families of those boys. People do drive way too fast down that road. I thank God the men in the other vehicle are going to be okay.

Everybody...life is fragile. Wear your seatbelts. And slow down.

Spirit of America Bloggers' Challenge

I have been woefully remiss in mentioning this...The Spirit of America Bloggers' Challenge is going on. It will soon be over...I think it ends tonight. Chuck Simmins explains what it's all about. As this post found via LGF points out, you don't have to support the war, like President Bush or be a conservative to support what Spirit of America is doing.

Again, I apologize for not mentioning this sooner. Please consider supporting this worthy cause.

Christmas Music on the Radio Blog

I have uploaded some Christmas music to the Radio Blog. There's also a link to it on the sidebar. Enjoy!

The Great Christmas Light Debate

Okay...I said it here and I said it here. Now let me say it here:

Christmas lights should be colored. All white lights are very, very boring. That's right -- white lights are not more elegant, they are not more classy -- they are BORING. B-O-R-I-N-G!

Christmas should be fun, happy and colorful. White lights are prim and uptight. So Christmas lights should have colors. Lots of colors!

Update: The current logo at A Small Victory says it all, I think. ;-)

Post Something!

I know, I know...I wasn't supposed to be on hiatus. I was just supposed to post less frequently. But almost a week qualifies as a hiatus, I think. Anyway, let me link a few things before I succumb to the Excedrin PM:

• There's been lots of talk about this United Church of Christ ad lately. Many of Bene's readers have no problem with it. I think it's a dishonest ad. This post by Andrea Harris* (which has a great title, BTW) explains why it's dishonest better than I could. (*Contains some strong language.)
• There has been much crowing from libertarians and liberals over this article about abstinence education. But...not so fast...
• You know, things are really getting silly when browser choices are politicized. Well, I'm conservative. I use IE at work because I have to. At home, I use Firefox on my main PC and Safari on my iBook.

Well, I'm starting to feel the Excedrin PM now. I'll try to post some more tomorrow.