Finding Joy at Christmas

This Christmas season has been kind of rough. It's always kind of rough, but I always try to remember what Christmas is all about and also enjoy the festive trappings of the season.

You see, my Mom has pretty much given up on Christmas since the deaths of my Dad and my brother. My sister just sees it as pressure to buy people gifts. I don't care about getting gifts that much. Most things I really want I can buy for myself. I like to give gifts, though. I usually try to grab an angel off the Angel Tree at my church each year. And I like to give gifts to my family and friends.

Even with my Dad and brother gone, I refuse to give up on Christmas. I always to put a tree up (with colored lights), put a wreath on the door and put plastic candy canes in the yard. I usually try to make it to my church's Advent services, but wasn't able to this year. I will definitely go to the Christmas Eve service -- I never miss that.

I have been very sad and depressed lately. I've also been fatigued and stricken with insomnia. I'm worried about my poor dog...she has arthritis and can hardly walk anymore. I read about young lives cut short in accidents and in war zones and a get even sadder. I read about the unspeakable evil done to people and I despair.

Yes, I know Christmas celebrates Christ coming into this world. I know this is cause for great joy, but sometimes I have trouble feeling that joy. I look at the world around me and I wonder where God is.

But I try and find that joy somehow, even if I'm unsuccessful. I know that some self-admitted Grinches (both Christian and non/anti-Christian) take a rather severe view of this season and look down on the "tacky" Christmas lights and holly berries and wreaths and trees and ribbons and gifts. They cringe at Christmas music, whether it be "Rudolph" or "Silent Night". They probably think It's a Wonderful Life or A Christmas Story are corny and played out. They look down on those of us who enjoy all those things.

As someone who has been struggling with depression this Christmas season, I think those people should lighten up and stop being so judgmental. I'm not ashamed to admit that I like Christmas lights and Christmas trees and all those other things. I like the fun and the festive mood, even if I'm not feeling festive inside.

I also always remember the whole reason behind Christmas. I still tear up at the Christmas Eve service when I think of Christ coming into this world as a helpless little baby.

So, I'm going to continue to struggle to find some joy this Christmas. I will enjoy looking at the houses decked out in colored Christmas lights. I'll enjoy the Christmas songs -- both sacred and silly. And if we actually get snow here in the Florida Panhandle for Christmas (as they are forecasting), it will be my first "white Christmas" -- that will be pretty cool.

Most importantly, I'll remember that "the Word became flesh and dwelt among us". And that God is still here and gives us hope and joy, even in this fallen, troubled world.