Heartbroken
This morning, I lost my dog.
She was almost thirteen years old. She was a Chow/Golden Retriever Mix. For the past month, she has been going downhill very quickly. At first, she just had trouble walking. Then she got to where she couldn't stand very steadily or for very long, and it was very hard for her to do things like relieve herself. My mother and I would use a towel as a sling to help her walk using her front legs. She weighed over 70 lbs., so I was difficult for us to move her, but we did the best we could.
I had ordered a wheel cart for her, thinking that if I could just get one of those, she could go out and relieve herself more easily. However, her condition kept getting worse and worse. First, she was unable to control her left rear leg. Then she got to where she could no longer move her tail. Then she started losing control of the right leg as well, and then finally she started losing control of her bodily functions. I was giving her medication for arthritis, but she would sometimes moan with pain.
I took her to the vet this morning. They took x-rays and the arthritis was in the vertebrae of her spine. Paralysis was overtaking her. There were only a few options.
They could give her an anti-inflammatory shot that might help her for a few hours. But they can only give a limited amount of those shots, because too many would cause other problems. They could get a neurosurgeon to operate on her spine, but it would take months for her to recuperate from such a surgery, especially at her advanced age. And it probably would not have helped her very much.
The final option was a decision I prayed I would never have to make. But it was the only decision I could make. It was the hardest thing I ever had to do.
I stayed with her. She went peacefully, but I broke down when I realized she was really gone.
She was my Dad's dog. When he died, she became my dog. I had named her Coco as a puppy, but my Dad called her Punkin. I like to think she is now reunited with my Dad. I have to believe that.
The house feels empty without her presence. My Mom and I are grieving. I will miss Coco the rest of my life. She was a sweet, wonderful dog.
Here is a photo of her when she was still a puppy:
This picture was taken in May after bringing her home from the groomers (that's why she has that bandana on):
Here's a picture I took while she was sleeping back in July:
Rest in peace, Coco aka Punkin (1992-2004).
Posted by Susan B. at 4:50 PM to Remembrance
Susan, I'm sorry for the loss of your beloved dog. I've gone through this too, I had to put a cat to sleep back in 2001, Princess, a 12-year old diabetic, who had lived in my home since she was six weeks old. (Her brother General is still with us, but showing signs of aging as well).
Princess's death was a turning point in my life. We put up a Christmas tree for her so she could see one before she went away (I used to be an anti-Christmas grinch, back when I was "walking in darkness"), then looking at it and thinking "I don't seem to hate Christmas so much anymore" - even when my cat was dying. In fact, I realize now that God was using all those experiences to draw me to Him, a call I answered about six months later.
May God bless you in your grieving.