LilacRose v1.0: Try, Try Again (Getting Back on the Wagon)

Try, Try Again (Getting Back on the Wagon)

If you will notice, I last posted about my weight loss progress over a year ago.

There's a reason for this.

I my highest weight loss point was, I think, 54 lbs., which I reached around September or October of last year. After that, I lost the plot.

I spent many months just spinning my wheels, losing a little weight and gaining a little back again. For a long time, I stayed at about the same place without further progress. While I had some health issues (bronchitis, gallbladder surgery and some other things) I also wasn't trying that hard anymore. I got tired of wasting time exercising that I could use doing other things, or just plain relaxing. I resented the hell out of it, in fact. I also resented having to watch everything I eat. I got tired of eating fruit and salads when I really wanted...something else. Although some people going through the Weight Watchers program have readjusted their tastes so that they prefer healthy food to the fattening stuff, I haven't been able to do that yet.

I injured my back in May and had to take steroids for a week and I gained about 10 lbs. (I am allergic to NSAIDs, which is why I had to take steroids.) My exercise program fell by the wayside and I just quit caring.

Now, I've gained back a little over half the weight I lost. I've started to have some of the health problems that drove me to lose weight in the first place. I am achy and fatigued and out-of-shape. Even after I lost 50+ lbs., I still needed to take cholesterol medicine, but being overweight doesn't help the situation.

My pride is hurt and I feel like a failure. I just started going to Weight Watchers again after a few weeks. The people there are great...they are very supportive. Nevertheless, I had to swallow a lot of pride to go back. I know I shouldn't be embarrassed, but I am anyway.

But I'm climbing back on the wagon again. My little rebellion is over. I really hate being overweight. I hate the way it makes me feel and look. So I'm going to keep fighting.

Posted by Susan B. at 12:25 AM to Diet & Health

Comments

Susie

Best wishes for your weight loss journey. I've been on Weight Watchers since June and have lost 20 pounds (well, erm, except the 2 that I just gained back last week while on vacation!). You can do it!

Posted on October 31, 2005 at 1:43 PM

Princess Jami

"I got tired of wasting time exercising that I could use doing other things, or just plain relaxing. I resented the hell out of it, in fact." - This is exactly how I felt when I gave up a couple of months ago. And after injuring my ankle over something not that interesting (tripped over a pothole in the parking lot) I gave myself permission to give in to the resentment. :-) After all, my BODY didn't want me to exercise while it was healing, right? ;-) /sigh
This weight-loss stuff is HARD! But, you keep fighting!!

Posted on October 31, 2005 at 2:01 PM

Princess Jami

Okay. Fine. I'll keep fighting, too. /sigh, again.

Posted on October 31, 2005 at 2:02 PM

Susan B.

Hi Susie and Jami,

Thank you so much for the encouragement! :-) Susie, I really do like the Weight Watchers program. If you follow it, you aren't really dieting but rather learning how to eat healthier. It's just that sometimes I get rebellious and I don't want to exercise and eat healthy foods. I need better self-discipline.

Jami, I know how injuries and illnesses really can be setbacks. Especially when you are trying to stay on an exercise program. But keep fighting...we'll keep fighting together! ;-)

Posted on November 1, 2005 at 12:03 AM

Barb M

I haven't replied to this because it's difficult when I'm fighting the same problems! Exercise seems like an enormous waste of time, and I'm not fond of a lot of healthy food. Heck, I turned yellow as a toddler because I refused to eat green vegetables, and I also existed a short while on only hot dogs and applesauce at about the same age. In my mind, I've started thinking of this as a sin problem. Just like everything else in this world, our genetics and eating habits and use of time can be flawed. I'd like to make my body a better temple!

Posted on November 2, 2005 at 11:30 PM

Susan B.

Hi Barb,

It looks like a lot of us are going through this same struggle. I'm also trying to look at this as a sin problem. I think ignoring that aspect of this whole problem may be why I keep making the same mistakes over and over again.

Posted on November 3, 2005 at 7:47 PM