Better Day

I'm still shaky, but I'm doing better today. I was able to move my podiatrist appointment up a few days because I decided to move my regular doctor appointment back. Being able to do that made me feel better. My feet are feeling somewhat better because I'm staying off of them and keeping them propped up in the evenings. I'm still frustrated about not being able to do things, though.

Hopefully, my moods will stay relatively even today. Thank you for your prayers and please continue to pray for me.

Bad Day

I'm not doing well today. I'm due to take my next-to-last Paxil tomorrow morning...if I can make it that long. I've been depressed lately and I'm very short-tempered today. I get mad if someone just looks at me the wrong way. Reading blogs is mostly infuriating anymore. I need to find something else to do while staying off my feet. It's hard for me to do things like read a book or watch a movie because I have the attention span of a gnat right now.

Why do I need to stay off my feet? Because my feet, especially my right foot, have been acting up really badly lately and I'm in a lot of pain. If I can stay off my feet, I'm okay. But I am frustrated because I need to do things. I want to start exercising. I want to make some soap and experiment with making some other bath things. But I can't because I can't bear to stand or walk for too long. I have an appointment with a foot doctor late next week (which was the soonest I could manage) because I can't stand this anymore.

I really don't think I should completely stop taking Paxil with my last pill on May 1. I had a reader warn me about this and I think he was right. I have one more refill and I may need to continue weaning down and maybe do it differently. I need to go to that Paxil forum and ask for some advice, but I just plain haven't felt like it. I'm really not in the mood to have to explain all this crap to a bunch of people I don't know and then probably get all kinds of conflicting advice. I'm low on patience right now.

I don't know what to do. Pray for me if you are so inclined.

Update: I'm feeling calmer now, although it's a washed-out, exhausted calm. And I went ahead and took the yellow pill. Yeah, I will definitely get that one more refill...I'm just not ready to stop taking them completely yet. I need to wean down a while longer. When I feel up to it, I'll go to that forum and ask some questions.

Now they've gone too far...

The same celebrities that screech about "getting the government out of our bedrooms" now want the government in our bathrooms:

Singer Sheryl Crow has said a ban on using too much toilet paper should be introduced to help the environment.

Crow has suggested using "only one square per restroom visit, except, of course, on those pesky occasions where two to three could be required". [...]

"I propose a limitation be put on how many squares of toilet paper can be used in any one sitting."

I propose that Ms. Crow shove it. Sideways.

Crow has also commented on her website about how she thinks paper napkins "represent the height of wastefulness".

She has designed a clothing line with what she calls a "dining sleeve".

The sleeve is detachable and can be replaced with another "dining sleeve" after the diner has used it to wipe his or her mouth.

Oh, ick! Between that and using "two or three" sheets at most for butt wiping, I feel sorry for the poor sap who has to do Ms. Crow's laundry. They deserve combat pay.

This isn't the first time I've commented on Ms. Crow's idiocy.

And her music sucks, too.

Update: A few more things...Ms. Crow should quit touring if she wants to be kind to Mother Earth. After all, is her music really more important than the good of the planet? Also, she should cut down on the booze...booze makes you pee and each time you pee, that's more toilet paper damaging the planet!

Hair Decisions

After letting my bangs grow out since I got LASIK surgery last summer, I've decided I want my bangs back. And I want them thicker than they were before. I'm tired of my big, broad, high forehead. I didn't like my hair hanging in my face, so I started pulling it back, which makes me look rather severe, I think. I'm getting my highlights done tomorrow, so instead of the usual trim, I'm going to ask my hairdresser to give me back my bangs. I wore bangs for years, but I thought I would try a new look. Well, I tried it and I've decided I don't like it anymore.

I may take an inch off the length, too. I can't wear short hair...I don't like it on myself and my face is too round. Because my hair is baby fine, I can't grow it much past shoulder-length because it starts looking stringy if it gets too long. I could wear it long if I wanted to start getting perms again, but I don't want to do that. They grow out too fast, lose their curl too fast and my hair ends up being damaged over time.

Unfortunately, there is only so much you can do with baby fine hair and a round face...

Update (4/21/07): I got my bangs back and I look a heck of a lot better, if I do say so myself. ;-) I also had the length cut to a nice little just-above-the-shoulder bob.

Some Good News for a Change

Today, the Supreme Court banned partial birth abortions. Good.

Of course, radical feminists are fuming. Also good.

No Greater Love

This world is full of sadness and ugliness. But then there are people who give you hope, because they make this world a better place. Liviu Librescu was one of those people.

As Jews worldwide honored on Monday the memory of those who were murdered in the Holocaust, a 76-year-old survivor sacrificed his life to save his students in Monday's shooting at Virginia Tech College that left 33 dead and over two dozen wounded.

Professor Liviu Librescu, 76, threw himself in front of the shooter when the man attempted to enter his classroom. The Israeli mechanics and engineering lecturer was shot to death, "but all the students lived - because of him," Virginia Tech student Asael Arad - also an Israeli - told Army Radio.

(Via Barb.)

Not much I can say...

...on the horrific massacre at Virginia Tech yesterday. I know of a few online people who work at or attend(ed) Virginia Tech and -- thank God -- they are safe. The only thing I can think of doing in the face of so much sadness is to pray.

On this whole Imus thing...

I won't rehash this whole thing because I think everybody knows what happened by now. What Imus said was stupid and mean, but that's pretty typical for him. But how many people have died because of something Imus said? Nobody. Now contrast that with the number of people who have died because of things Al Sharpton said.

Edifying Site of the Day

You don't have to be Catholic to find the late Pope John Paul II's Theology of the Body to be deep, beautiful and enlightening. Are you sick of the "battle of the sexes"? Are you sick of the embittered radical feminist and libertine, heartless, pornography-influenced male views of sex? Then the Theology of the Body is a refuge, a remedy to the, "let's see how much we can use and manipulate each other" way most relationships these days (married or not) seem to be conducted. They have a forum, too. Lots of good stuff there, although there are a few trolls, unfortunately. Some people can't handle hearing that they are living a lie.

Being Realistic, Knowing Your Limitations

Apparently, this woman lacks the ability to do either.

That gave me a much-needed laugh this morning after being really depressed. It's amazing how a little laughter can lift your mood. I have a co-worker who sends funny emails and the link to the above was one of them. His only comment was, "Does this woman not own a mirror?"

And yes, I can laugh at this even though I'm not exactly in-shape myself. But I don't go around in public wearing sports bras and spandex shorts either, nor do I go around auditioning to be a cheerleader.

Note: Changed link because the original one was dead.

A quick word...

...about how I'm doing with the Paxil thing. Well, I was in a horrible mood and generally felt horrible all week last week. Every time I ate, I got heartburn that radiated through my left shoulder. If it wasn't that it only happened when I ate, I would have thought I was having a heart attack or something. I have a hiatal hernia and had PMS (sorry, TMI), so that probably contributed to it as well. I also had an attack of one of those towering rages on Good Friday. Thankfully, they let us go home from work early (since it was Good Friday). I was trying to increase the time between Paxil dosages another day, but only made it for twelve hours. After coming down from the "hyper-rage", I was exhausted and took a long nap and ended up sleeping a lot during the weekend.

I have felt better today...much less dispirited and fatigued. Also, the heartburn is gone now, so I'm not miserable every time I eat.

I've thought about blogging some things, but I'm trying to avoid getting myself too spun up. Also, I have quit reading some blogs or their comments because they just make me too angry.

I'm going to try and concentrate on reading some books and I may try and resume the project I started and never finished on my faith journal. I think that would make a good and edifying diversion.

I am also slowly trying to change my diet and eat healthier things and consume less calories so I can start losing weight again. My feet are gradually getting better. It is really just my right foot that is hurting now, and the pain is centered around the side of my heel. When I massage the painful area, I can actually feel a hard knot. Once my foot is better, I'd like to start exercising again. I really need to get healthy again.