Whole Lotta Pain

I just wanted to check in and let my 2 or 3 readers know I'm still alive. About late-morning Sunday, I slipped in my bathtub and sprained my hip. I won't go through the whole long story right now, but just a few words and phrases that give the basics: felt "something" pull, excruciating pain, lots of screaming, trip to ER, wheelchair, short (thank God) wait, ER room and gown, more waiting, agonizing trip to the restroom, doctor, pain meds, release, trip to pharmacy, home, home from work all week.

I am going to see my regular doctor today because, although I'm slowly getting better, I'm still in a lot of pain, cannot walk farther than across the house and back without more pain and, most disturbingly, part of the shin on my left leg (the affected leg) is partially numb and has been since Sunday afternoon (I didn't notice until after returning home). I think there is less numbness now than then, but it still doesn't feel right. It's not blue or cold or anything, so I figure that the swelling ligaments in my hip are pressing on a nerve. This is one of those situations where being allergic to NSAIDs really sucks.

So anyway, that's the abbreviated story. Prayers would be most appreciated. Thank you!

Out Sick

After being so busy for the past couple of weeks, it seems my immune system has collapsed. I've been sick with a really bad head and chest cold for the past few days. I'm on antibiotics, so hopefully this will clear up soon. If I owe you an email or anything else, please be patient.

Thank you, Rachel Lucas...

...for this honest and commonsensical post about weight, clothing sizes, body image and media manipulation. (Of course, in posts like hers, there always has to be at least one commenter who likes to be a jerk and calls people fat when they aren't. I'll tell you, the subject of weight really brings out the viciousness and self-righteousness in some people.)

Here is a great point that Rachel makes:

Girls see sites like this one, which claims that Paris is 5'8" and 105 pounds. Bullshit, bullshit, bullshit, bullshit. I know what 105 pounds looks like, and it ain't Paris Hilton. [...]

Lying starlets are the root of many evils, and this is the worst of those evils. They've got perfectly healthy young women who might weigh about 125 pounds convinced that in order to look like Paris Hilton, they're gonna have to lose 20 or 30. No, you don't. They think that a woman who is 5'8" could wear a size 0 or 2 (averaging out the sizes of all her clothes which is the only honest way to do it) and look anything other than skeletal. No, she can't.

This is the absolute truth. I'm 5'8" myself. When I was at my thinnest many, many years ago, I got down to about 125 pounds and wore anywhere from size 6 to 10 (depending on the clothes). I was almost too skinny. If I were to get down to 105 pounds, I would look like a skeleton. I would literally have to starve myself to get that thin. Not diet -- starve.

I really don't know exactly what size I wear because, like Rachel points out, sizes vary depending on where and when you bought something. I've been losing a little weight lately without really trying because I'm watching my diet since I was recently diagnosed with diabetes. I'm thinking of joining Weight Watchers again. I just want to get to a weight that's healthy and that I'm happy with. I can't worry about some jerk thinking I'm still fat because I don't have enough bones poking out.

I would be happy as could be (and look really good) if I were a size 12 to 14 like I was just a few years ago after going to Weight Watchers for a year. But some people think that's fat, which is ridiculous. People have really screwed up ideas about weight these days, which probably explains why we have both rampant obesity and too many girls with eating disorders who think they're fat when they aren't.

(Via Five Feet of Fury.)

Sort of ironic...

Yesterday, on Valentines Day -- the day famous for giving chocolates and candies -- I went to the doctor and found out I'm diabetic.

I sort of suspected it for a while, but ignored it. As long as I wasn't officially diagnosed with it, I could pretend nothing was wrong. Perhaps my nearly constant fatigue, aches and moodiness will be helped with it being treated. Today I picked up my diabetes stuff from Walgreens -- medication to help control blood sugar and a blood sugar monitor. I need to learn how to use the monitor.

Diabetes runs in my mother's side of the family. She isn't diabetic, but one of her brothers was and her younger sister is. I should have taken better care of myself, knowing that I had a genetic predisposition to diabetes. Now I have an urgent reason to make myself eat better and get some exercise, so maybe this is for the best.

The Mirror Lies

There is something about looking at yourself in the mirror. You have a tendency to not see yourself as you really are. I used to wonder why anorexics -- people who starve themselves to look like skeletons -- look in the mirror and see themselves as fat. Now I think I understand. Except I have the opposite problem. I look in the mirror and see myself as being thinner than I really am. I know I'm overweight, but I think, "I'm not that bad...I could be worse." (Perhaps that was the problem with the woman I was laughing about here. Well, it looks like the joke's on me...)

My Mom's birthday was Sunday and my sister and I posed for a few pictures with her. Whenever I see pictures of myself when I'm overweight, I'm always horrified to see how much extra weight I'm carrying. It is always shocking. These latest pictures have left me particularly horrified. And I want to cry when I remember about three years ago, when I was going to Weight Watchers and was fifty pounds lighter, that I said I would never let myself get that way again.

Well, seeing those pictures -- and then seeing some pictures of myself when I was thin -- I realize I have to do something very soon. I have to do it for my health and yes I have to do it for plain old vanity, too. I'm going to try and lose weight again -- exercise (that's the big issue) and watch what I eat. My feet are about healed up so I should be able to do some walking and stepper exercises. As far as eating goes, if I can stick to a diet, the weight just falls off. But I get bored with it or I lose my motivation and I slip back into my old habits.

I may or may not go back to Weight Watchers -- I don't know yet. So wish me luck and say a prayer for me.

The source of my foot pain...

...is plantar fasciitis, which is the inflammation of a major ligament in your foot that connects your heel to your toes. While I have this problem in both feet, it is much worse in my right foot. Fortunately, it doesn't look like I have bone spurs or anything like that. Since I can't take NSAIDs (I'm allergic to them), I got a cortisone shot in my right foot, which I think was the most painful shot I've ever had. My foot was taped to limit movement and the doctor recommended that I get at least one pair of Crocs to wear around the house as slippers. (I bought two pairs, one for home and one for work.) I have to tape a bag around the taped foot before I shower for the next few days and I am also supposed to do some stretching exercises. I'm not supposed to be on my feet more than necessary.

My foot is feeling better today and I'm supposed to see the foot doctor again in a couple of weeks. Fortunately, this is something that can heal up and get better...I'm just glad I didn't have bone spurs or something.

Diet Progress

I've lost five pounds since starting the NutriSystem diet last Wednesday! Some of this weight may be water weight, but it's still very encouraging. I'm blogging about my progress on my diet blog. For now, it's not anything fancy. I'm just using the default MT template and everything. It's just a place to track my progress publicly. I think doing so will help to keep me on track.

Weight Woes

As anyone who has read this blog for a while knows, I struggle with a weight problem. I have struggled with this problem most of my adult life, yo-yoing between brief periods of thinness and longer periods of fatness. Almost three years ago, I started Weight Watchers and lost about 54 lbs. Then I lost the plot and started gaining the weight back again. After gaining about half the weight back, I claimed that I had new resolve to try again. I really thought I did. I went to Weight Watchers again another couple of times, but then I never went back. I just got tired of driving across town in the evenings after working all day to go to the weigh-ins and meetings.

Now I'm ashamed to admit that I've gained back all the weight I lost, and a few more pounds.

I have no energy, I feel awful all the time, and it is making my back pain and my knee problems worse. I get out of breath very easily when walking up the stairs to work. When I had lost all that weight, I went up the stairs with no problem, and I remember how wonderful that was. Now, when I huff and puff after climbing the stairs, I feel terrible.

I usually don't read Instapundit that much, but a few weeks ago, I surfed over there and noticed an offhand mention of this book: The Shangri-La Diet. I clicked on the Amazon link and was intrigued enough to buy the book and read it. It sounds crazy and unconventional, but yet it makes a weird kind of sense. Especially when you read some of the scientific research about the association between flavor and calories.

Basically, the Shangri-La Diet is not so much a diet but rather a method of attempting to suppress your appetite and make you feel full with less food. It is also supposed to help suppress cravings for certain kinds of foods (like sweets). This is done by consuming up to 400 flavorless calories a day consisting of sugar water and/or extra light olive oil (not extra virgin). The oil is flavorless, and while the sugar is sweet, it doesn't really "register" as being associated with calories unless combined with other flavors. The theory is that if you eat a certain amount of flavorless calories, the "set point" for your appetite will be lowered and you will eat less. Conversely, the more flavorful calories you eat, especially when it's flavors that you are very familiar with (like processed food), the more the set point for your appetite goes up, which leads to obesity. The appetite "set point" is compared to a thermostat in the book. It can be set up or down by the kinds of foods you eat.

I tried doing the Shangri-La diet a couple of times, and while it did seem to suppress my appetite and reduce cravings, I found that it took more discipline than I could muster to stay with it. You see, you have to not eat, drink, chew gum, smoke, brush your teeth or do anything where you taste flavors for an hour before and an hour after consuming the oil and/or sugar water. My sister borrowed the book and read it and decided not to go with it for the same reasons. (She's a smoker, so that makes it even more difficult.) She says her life is complicated enough and she needs to diet in such a way that she doesn't have to think about it so much. I'm in pretty much the same situation.

Another problem with the Shangri-La diet is that oil seemed to work much better than sugar water. However, I no longer have my gallbladder, so taking the oil would give me some unpleasant side effects. I would get very belchy and sometimes a bit nauseated after taking the oil. The sugar water just didn't seem to work as well.

I may revisit the Shangri-La diet if I the next thing I'm going to try doesn't work out. I'm going to try NutriSystem for a month and see how it goes. I've already ordered the food and I should get it this week. This will be good because you only eat the portions allowed for each day. There is a huge variety of food that you can pick and you supplement it with fruits, vegetables, whole grain breads and skim milk. They also have sweets -- like chocolate cake and caramel popcorn -- so I will be able to satisfy my cravings. The Shangri-La book mentioned "good" carbs, which are those with a low glycemic index. The NutriSystem diet is a high protein, low fat, and high good carb diet. This will work out great, I think, because I really don't like to cook. My Mom is tired of cooking too, and she says that she will just have soup and sandwiches while I do my thing.

If I like the food and if I lose weight, I will stay with NutriSystem. If it doesn't work out, I guess I can go back to Weight Watchers and combine it with the Shangri-La diet. But I really hope and pray NutriSystem works out. I'm thinking of keeping a diet blog to track my progress. Doing this publicly may be a good way of keeping me honest and motivating me. I'll think about it. One thing I won't reveal, at least not until I reach my goal, is my weight. Why? Because it's just too embarrassing.

Try, Try Again (Getting Back on the Wagon)

If you will notice, I last posted about my weight loss progress over a year ago.

There's a reason for this.

I my highest weight loss point was, I think, 54 lbs., which I reached around September or October of last year. After that, I lost the plot.

I spent many months just spinning my wheels, losing a little weight and gaining a little back again. For a long time, I stayed at about the same place without further progress. While I had some health issues (bronchitis, gallbladder surgery and some other things) I also wasn't trying that hard anymore. I got tired of wasting time exercising that I could use doing other things, or just plain relaxing. I resented the hell out of it, in fact. I also resented having to watch everything I eat. I got tired of eating fruit and salads when I really wanted...something else. Although some people going through the Weight Watchers program have readjusted their tastes so that they prefer healthy food to the fattening stuff, I haven't been able to do that yet.

I injured my back in May and had to take steroids for a week and I gained about 10 lbs. (I am allergic to NSAIDs, which is why I had to take steroids.) My exercise program fell by the wayside and I just quit caring.

Now, I've gained back a little over half the weight I lost. I've started to have some of the health problems that drove me to lose weight in the first place. I am achy and fatigued and out-of-shape. Even after I lost 50+ lbs., I still needed to take cholesterol medicine, but being overweight doesn't help the situation.

My pride is hurt and I feel like a failure. I just started going to Weight Watchers again after a few weeks. The people there are great...they are very supportive. Nevertheless, I had to swallow a lot of pride to go back. I know I shouldn't be embarrassed, but I am anyway.

But I'm climbing back on the wagon again. My little rebellion is over. I really hate being overweight. I hate the way it makes me feel and look. So I'm going to keep fighting.

W00t! W00t!

After about a year, I finally reached and exceeded the 50 pound mark in my weight loss! I have lost 51.5 lbs. so far...GO ME!

Low-Carb Stuff & Weight Update

Since I follow Weight Watchers, I'm not really into the whole low-carb craze. However, some of the low-carb stuff that they have come out with can be beneficial to us non-Atkins folks. For example, the low-carb orange juice is really quite good, and it's only 1 Point per 8 oz. glass, as opposed to 2 Points for regular orange juice.

While grocery shopping yesterday, I noticed that they had the new low-carb Coca-Cola I had been hearing so much about: Coke C2. I bought some and gave it a try. The verdict: Pretty darn good! A 12 oz. can of C2 is 1 Point as opposed to 3 Points for the regular Coke Classic. Now, I don't think it will usurp Diet Cherry Coke (0 Points) as the Official Beverage™ of LilacRose just yet, but it will make a nice addition to my sources of much needed caffeine. (I don't drink coffee, so my caffeine comes from sodas and iced tea.)

Incidentally, I haven't given a weight update lately. That's because I was stuck on a plateau for quite a while. I got a bit slipshod in my eating habits while my Mom was sick. Then, I regained my discipline and started exercising a lot more. While I lost inches, my weight stayed pretty much the same. (Although it actually went up 1.5 pounds about three weeks ago -- yikes!) This is probably because I've been gaining muscle, which weighs more than fat.

Now, the weight seems to be coming off again. At my last weigh-in, I lost 2.5 pounds. My total now is 47.5 pounds. It seems like I've been trying to reach that 50 pound mark forever, but I'll get there.

It's the Pollen, Stupid!

This sickness and semi-cold that I've had for going on two weeks is allergies. Duh...I should have realized that. It's just that I've had colds and bronchitis so many times that I didn't even think of allergies. I have taken Zyrtec off and on for allergies, but usually allergies make my hands and feet itch, rather than giving me all this congestion and head pain. So I'm taking the Zyrtec again regularly as well as some NasacortAQ spray. I'm not the only one in this area having this problem. The pollen levels here are very high right now.

What's been going on...

First the good news: I've lost a total of 42.5 pounds since July!

Now the bad news: I may have gallstones or an ulcer. (I think it's gallstones.) I'm having some tests done in a couple of weeks.

CSPI - The Food Police

Dodd links to this item that makes fun of those infamous food nannies, the Center for Science in the Public Interest. I'm sure you've heard of them. They're the group that occasionally puts out "shocking" reports about how certain foods are bad, bad, bad and should never, ever, ever be eaten by anyone. If they had their way, you wouldn't be allowed to eat anything but watercress and wheatgrass juice.

One time, I saw a guy from CSPI on some news show. I think he was talking about the evils of Chinese food...or maybe it was Italian food. He looked every bit as cranky and joyless as I would expect someone from this organization to be. I guess eating nothing but watercress and wheatgrass juice will do that to you.

Update: Check it out -- an anti-CSPI site: CSPIscam.

Speaking of weight...

I've now lost 35.5 pounds since July. My weight-loss sort of stalled out over the holidays. However, I only gained about a half pound after Christmas and New Years, as opposed to the usual five or ten pounds. So, I think I did okay.

Supersized

I got this article in an email the other day. Here it is online:

New York Post - ARCH ENEMY

Last February, Morgan Spurlock decided to become a gastronomical guinea pig.

His mission: To eat three meals a day for 30 days at McDonald's and document the impact on his health.

Scores of cheeseburgers, hundreds of fries and dozens of chocolate shakes later, the formerly strapping 6-foot-2 New Yorker - who started out at a healthy 185 pounds - had packed on 25 pounds.

But his supersized shape was the least of his problems.

Within a few days of beginning his drive-through diet, Spurlock, 33, was vomiting out the window of his car, and doctors who examined him were shocked at how rapidly Spurlock's entire body deteriorated.

"It was really crazy - my body basically fell apart over the course of 30 days," Spurlock told The Post.

His liver became toxic, his cholesterol shot up from a low 165 to 230, his libido flagged and he suffered headaches and depression.

My thoughts on this -- well DUH! Of course eating fatty food for every meal for thirty days will cause you to pack on pounds and cause your health to go down the toilet. Why is this surprising?

Spurlock charted his journey from fit to flab in a tongue-in-cheek documentary, which he has taken to the Sundance Film Festival with the hopes of getting a distribution deal.

"Super Size Me" explores the obesity epidemic that plagues America today - a sort of "Bowling for Columbine" for fast food.

Oh, boy...we have the true agenda behind this revealed here. This guy is a Michael Moore wannabe. The same sort of muckraking, except this time it's McDonald's rather than the NRA.

Despite making dozens of phone calls, Spurlock fails to get anyone from McDonald's to agree to an on-camera interview.

A spokeswoman for McDonald's told The Post yesterday that no representatives from the corporation had seen "Super Size Me."

"Consumers can achieve balance in their daily dining decisions by choosing from our array of quality offerings and range of portion sizes to meet their taste and nutrition goals," McDonald's said in a statement.

Well, actually, that's true. There are other things to eat at McDonald's besides burgers, fries and milkshakes. As you may know, I've being going to Weight Watchers for the past six months. When I do go to McDonald's on occasion, here is what I usually get: a grilled chicken caesar salad (4 Points), with croutons (1 Point) and low-fat vinaigrette dressing (1 Point). I may also get a fruit and yogurt parfait, which is 3 Points (2 Points if you leave off the granola never mind, granola makes no difference).

Now, if Mr. Spurlock were to have eaten salads with low-fat dressing and parfaits for every meal for thirty days, I doubt that he would have ended up with all those health problems. However, this would not have made a very good expose on the evils of McDonald's.

"He was an extremely healthy person who got very sick eating this McDonald's diet," Dr. Isaacs told The Post.

"None of us imagined he could deteriorate this badly - he looked terrible. The liver test was the most shocking thing - it became very, very abnormal."

Spurlock has since returned to normal health. "The treatment was to just stop doing what he was doing," Dr. Isaacs says.

Again, DUH!

Spurlock, a film producer who grew up in West Virginia and studied ballet for eight years, was spurred to make his first feature film while watching TV on Thanksgiving Day, 2002.

"I was feeling like a typical American on Thanksgiving - very bloated and happy on the couch - and at some point on the news they were talking about two women who were suing McDonald's.

"People from the food industry were saying, 'You can't link kids being fat to our food - our food is nutritious.'

"I said, 'How nutritious is it really? Let's find out."

What did he find out? That eating high fat McDonald's food for every meal (Who actually does that?) for thirty days (Again, who actually does that?) will make you fat and ill. Sorry to keep repeating myself, but all I can say to that is...DUH!

Does Mr. Spurlock want some sort of food police to keep people from making bad choices in their eating habits? Should corporations be sued because people choose to stuff their faces with burgers and fries all the time and get fat? Please show me where McDonald's is holding a gun to anyone's head and forcing them to eat Big Macs.

Incidentally, I've noticed that Fr. Bryce Sibley and Mac Swift have also mentioned this story.

Amazing Discovery!

Somebody mentioned mini meringue cookies at a recent Weight Watchers meeting. I kind of filed the info away in the "possible ways to combat my sweets craving" part of my brain.

So anyway, I was at the grocery store yesterday and I saw them...plastic tubs of mini meringue cookies. I had never tried them, but the word of mouth was so positive, I bought two flavors: vanilla and chocolate chip. I also noticed that 13 vanilla cookies are only 2 Points* and 12 chocolate chip cookies are also only 2 Points.

Let me just say, these cookies are delicious! And you don't even need to eat very many, because they are so sweet. You can eat six for only 1 Point, but that's almost too many. Two or three are enough to satisfy a craving for sweets. The cookies are small and light, and they are somehow crispy and fluffy at the same time.

So, if you have a sweet tooth like me, and are looking for a non-fattening way to satisfy it, try some mini meringue cookies!

*Points being the way you measure food values in the Weight Watchers program. The Points value of a food is determined by a combination of calories, fat and fiber. You are allowed a certain number of Points a day, depending on your weight. You also get some extra Points you can use throughout the week if you need them. I find that this method that WW uses is much easier and less time-consuming than counting calories.

Weight Loss Update

I said back in this post that I would occasionally post on my weight loss progress. Well, I've now lost 30.5 lbs. so far. At my WW weigh-in the week after Thanksgiving, I actually lost 2.5 lbs. How cool is that? (I had been on a plateau a couple of weeks before that.)

I've also started to slowly ease myself into exercising. I've started with the stair-stepper, but I'm also going to do some other stuff, too.

Weight Problems

This post by Rosemary at Dean's World has inspired me to post about something that I've wanted to talk about, but didn't for a variety of reasons.

Okay, here's the deal -- I'm overweight. But I'm trying to do something about it. I've been following the Weight Watchers program since July. I've lost 25.5 pounds so far. I still need to lose more, but I'm already feeling and looking better. You see, heart disease, cancer and diabetes run in my family. And I'm already on Lipitor for high cholesterol. I'm losing weight mainly for health reasons, although I won't deny that I want to look better as well. I don't want to be boney and anorexic looking...I just want to maintain a healthy weight.

I haven't mentioned this before because I consider this a rather personal subject. My weight has gone up and down my entire adult life. (I was a skinny kid.) I have dieted and exercised and lost lots of weight before, but it has a way of coming back...and you ignore it. Think of the old "frog in a pot of boiling water" analogy. I'm hoping that this time, I will stay vigilant and keep the weight off. I don't want to go through this again.

I'm not really an overeater, but I have a weakness for rich, fatty foods (sweets especially). I tend to favor meats and starches over fruits and vegetables. And I hate exercise. However, I'm learning to eat more healthy foods, while trying to find less fatty, sugary ways to fulfill my cravings. I'm drinking much more water, which is very important when losing weight. When I do eat the more fattening foods, I control the portions. I still don't exercise that much, so I need to work on that. My own preferences and habits, my own likes and dislikes, my own choices, caused me to gain weight. Having crappy metabolism doesn't help the situation. If I had a better metabolism, then perhaps I could get away with eating sweets and fried foods and not exercising. But I can't, unfortunately.

As far as how the society treats overweight people, yes, people do look down on those who are overweight. I'm ashamed to admit that I've even done it when I was thin. I would get prideful and arrogant and think, "Well, I did something about my weight, why can't she?" After gaining the weight back, I would think back on this attitude with shame. I felt that God was punishing me for my arrogance. Pride truly is one of the greatest sins.

I started going to Weight Watchers because several of my Internet friends tried it and they were very successful. I had lost weight by myself before, but I just couldn't do it by myself this time. I couldn't maintain the motivation and I would get discouraged and backslide. Going for a weigh-in every week and talking with people who are going through the same thing helps me to stay motivated.

So, that's my story. Now that I've "outed" myself, I will occasionally post on my progress. One thing I know for sure -- I'm determined to get to a healthy weight, and I ain't going back!